Learning to Live

I realize that this title may have you thinking what's the deal with learning? I hate learning. I hate school. I hate class. Well, you might be thinking that, but I'm not. Sure. Going to class sucks sometimes and homework is a real big bitch but I think we all forget about the bigger picture. I'm here to learn. I don't always want to learn, but that's what I'm here for. But those moments when I'm fascinated by something I've just discovered are moments I've learned to cherish. I hope I never lose this feeling. I've looked more things up in the dictionary this year than I probably have in my whole life. I'm obsessed with the the things I'm learning about. Maybe it's because it's something I'm actually interested in. I really do tend to geek out over English... and education... Whatevs. I think we forget about how fortunate we are to be in a country where we are forced to become educated. Now we are all at the point where ...

Today I asked my mom what she thought of my blog. "Well it shows your soft side." Not sure what exactly that's supposed to mean. I feel like me crying every other week of my life is pretty soft- but what do I know? Anyways, I feel like this shows how much my mom's opinion means to me. I've wanted her to read this from the beginning, but when she asked for the link last week I got super excited. I truly value what my mom has to say about the things I do and decisions I make in my life. My mom isn't the only person whose opinion matters to me though. I'm the type of person who needs the input of others regardless of what the decision is. But today my mom pointed something out to me and it really hit home. She told me she couldn't make every decision for me because it was up to me to make mistakes in my life and learn from them. Nothing could ever be more true. I've already made my fair share of mistakes, but there's always more to learn. While ...

"Erin, I think you love home too much." Could that really be it? I've spent all this time trying to tell people I'm not that girl, but I think I totally am. After a conversation with my second mom, Debbie, everything really became clear for me. We had just been talking about the anxiety I was having about going back to school. You might think I'm being dramatic, but I literally had a panic attack the day before. I'm talking full-on hyperventilating, can't breathe panic attack people. And it was all about returning to one of my favorite places. So what gives? I think Debbie was right. It's not that I don't love Concordia, because I do. It's not that I don't like the people at Concordia, because they totally rock. It's not even the classes... Well maybe a little. But I think the hardest thing for me as that I've become so accustomed to living at home again, that I just can't bear the thought of leaving. Even as I sit here, ...

Why do bad things happen to good people? I think it's because good people know how to handle the bad things that come their way. However, this must mean I am definitely not a good person because if something bad comes my way I tend to get pretty pissed. But that bad things that come my way are usually on a small scale. Right now, I'm watching one of my friends deal with something I honestly don't know if I could deal with. To be honest, this kid is the definition of a good person. He's a great friend, he's nice to everyone, he's hilarious and he works hard to get what he wants. Unfortunately it's just not hard enough. He has worked hard for everything he has in life and now it's just not cutting it. My heart is literally breaking watching his world turn upside down, but he looked right at me and said, "This is just God's plan for me right now Erin. Everything will work out eventually. I'm going to take this time and make the best of it....

Warning: This post is about a book. I am indeed an English major and I like reading. And I love this book. So that's what it's about. If you don't like reading or books I suggest you don't read this post. So last year we were all required to read the "summer book read." It was "Zoli" by Colum McCann I actually read it. TWICE. The first time around I thought it seemed pretty lame. However, the second time around my professor forced us to read more into it. I think that this particular professor and her method of teaching this novel solidified my decision to become an English teacher. My second interaction with Colum McCann was when he came to Concordia's Symposium. Like most freshman, I kind of blew off this whole day and was just pretty pumped about not having class. But the same professor that forced us to reread "Zoli" made us go listen to the keynote speaker who happened to be Colum McCann. I wish I still had my notes from that...

It's kind of interesting to think about how often I find myself talking about my future life. As if I actually have a clue as to how it will turn out. I talk about my husband and my kids and the nice things we're going to have. In reality, nothing could work out how I want it to, and what will I do then? List of things I currently want to end up with in my life: -Husband (Obvi...) But this husband has a long list of requirements. None of which I feel obligated to post. How naive am I to think that I will find a man that fulfills all of these requirements. I know I need to find a man who I love for who he is- even if he doesn't have the amazing brown eyes I've been dreaming about for my whole life. -7 kids. When I tell people I want 7 kids they look at me like I'm crazy. And who knows, maybe I am. Chances are I'll change my mind and wind up with 2 or 3 and most likely be okay with it. I'm 19 so I really have no clue what will happen. - A job. No brainer....

The Dalai Lama once said, "The purpose of our lives is to be happy." And I think this quote sums up my life, and should probably sum up the lives of more people in the world. Regardless of your religious beliefs, I strongly feel that the we are all here to be happy. Sure, we all have different plans to find our happy, but in the end I think we are all meant to be happy with the way things turned out.  I'm generally a pretty happy person, at least that's what I hear. And I do think it's true- to an extent. I do get down occasionally. But usually if you see me sad/mad, I'm trying to be that way because I feel like I have a reason to feel that way. Don't ask me why I do it, because I really don't have a valid explanation, but I do. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that's how the world has shaped our society. People are always complaining about something in the world, no matter how big or small the issue is. You turn on the news and all ...