Type A In Distress

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A lot of my writing comes from reading first, so it's no surprise that this post will bring you to an essay by Mary Laura Phillpot that is featured in her book I Miss You When I Blink. 

 This particular essay starts out by reminding the reader to put down the phone and Post-it notes and stop rewriting the to-do list in your head. WOW. RELATE. The moment I wake up I have a to do list in my head and that list just gets modified as the day goes on. I wish this was just a daily thing, but I find that I do it for my life all the time. And it is EXHAUSTING.

It's exhausting to feel the need to do it all and do it well and be kind to others along the way. I find myself in a state of "simmering, low-grade resentment" at times and it's sucky because it's not even anyone else's fault. It's all mine and my stupid brain.

I see myself the way I think the world sees me, which means that I only feel worth when I'm getting something checked of my list. It doesn't matter how big or small it is, it's just gotta get checked off. I'm in a constant state of overwhelmed and stressed about all of these little things and then, like Mary Laura puts it, the actual big things get bigger.

I'm really trying to work on this to-do list mentality. Learning to relax should not be so difficult, but for me, a Type A Person in Distress, it seems impossible. If you know me at all, I would appreciate your assistance in getting me to relax and calm down and not stress so much about the little things. I'll take as many kind reminders as I can get, but for now I better get back to my list...

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