Kids Say the Darndest Things- Teacher's Edition

This is a collection of the funny things students have said to me throughout the course of the semester. Chances are you won't think these are as funny as I did, but they are definitely worth a good chuckle.

"Ms. Thompson, why do you wear slippers everyday?"
(Um, excuse me? These are obviously nude flats.)


    Student: "Ms. Thompson, how old are you?"  
    Me: "21." 

    Student: "Does that mean you can drink beer?

    Different student: "Wow, that's weird you looked 19 up there."
    Me: *no response*
    Student: "That's so cool, I can't wait until I'm 21. Only 9 more years!"              



Homecoming dress up days are interesting: Me: "What Disney character are you?" Student: "I'm the hunter who shot Bambi's mom." 

Me: "...."                         



After giving 7th graders candy: "Wow, Ms. Thompson, you're the best teacher and you're so pretty and I like your shoes and your hair."

"The big bags of sunflower seeds were 2 for $1, so I figured why not spend some money?" - 7th grader


A 7th grader's quotation that describes their life: "Work hard and eat a lot of cheeseburgers."

"Thomps, can we take a picture of you and turn it into a Fathead?"
(If you don't know what a Fathead is, you can find an example here)

"Ms. Thompson, can I start calling you Optimus Prime?"

"Wanna hear a joke? It's kinda inapro-pro for these children though." -7th grader talking about other 7th graders

Student: "Ms. Thompson, you should drive back to Moorhead and wake up on the right side of the bed."
Me: "Do I really seem that crabby today?" Student: *Holds up sign that says YES* (I wish I knew where this sign came from and how it appeared so quickly.)
**NOTE: This same student brought me 13 Jolly Ranchers the next day to apologize.


Me: "Does anyone have any advice for me?"
Student: "Always carry your key like a shank."

“Ms. Thompson, here’s a little fashion advice from a seventh grader: You should wear your hair in a ponytail more often.” 

*Please note that my hair was NOT in a ponytail today. 

"Life is a taco."

These are wise words from a 7th grader learning about metaphors. He explained that tacos and life are similar because they are both messy, but still really good.

This kid gets it.

Student: "Ms. Thompson, come here I have something to whisper in your ear."
Me: *sternly* "No. You cannot whisper anything in my ear because I am a teacher and you are a student and that is weird."
Student: "Fine, I just wanted to tell you that your zipper is down."
Me: "...."

Yeah, she was kidding.

Student: "Ms. Thompson, how did you get to be so cool?"
Me: "I never miss a beat."
Student: "You're lightning on your feet?"
Me: "And that's what they don't see."
This continues throughout the entire chorus of the song.

"You always look like you get your clothes off Pinterest."
(This is less funny, and more like the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.)

Student: "I like your new hairstyle today."
(My hair was in a ponytail with a headband.)
Me: "Oh, thanks, I didn't shower today."
Student: "What does that have to do with anything?"
(Oh yeah, that's right... 7th graders don't shower all the time.)

"You just always seem like you have your life together."
I don't think this student realized that he was making a joke.

Working on metaphors:
“The trees are as bare as butts” turned into “The trees are stick-y butts” and then, “The trees are naked.” 


“I think that when we judge a book by its cover we just don’t understand and we are scared of what we don’t understand.”
Not funny, but it was thoughtful so I was proud.  


Another quotation to describe their life:
"BE AWESOME, HAVE SOUL OF DRAGON."



Thanks for reading. Stay awesome!