It's OK To Grieve

-
Here's a piece I wrote for the High Plains Reader this month:

The holidays are supposed to be a time filled with joy and family. We are surrounded by loved ones and delicious food; how could one not be happy? Unfortunately, every year people around the world are forced to face their first holiday without a loved one. And for many, the holidays serve as a reminder of the ones that are no longer with us.
Recently, a group of students at Concordia College held a student panel on the topic of grief and how to move on with life after loss. One student described this grief as a scar that will never fully heal. Although several families will endure their first holiday season without a loved one, this may not be something that gets easier with time. Every family endures a loss followed by a holiday season at some point in their life. Unfortunately, we live in a society that constantly expects us to put on a happy face, even when things are difficult. Should this always be the case? Is it even more important to slap a smile on during the holidays?
It is important that we remind ourselves that it is not necessary to always have a happy face. It is acceptable to grieve. However, perhaps we could use the holidays to reflect on the happy times we shared with the people we have lost. But maybe someone needs to use the holidays as a time to grieve all over again. The process of grieving is unique to every individual. There is no appropriate way to grieve and we all respond differently as we move forward.
The point is that there are many different ways people accept death and more forward with life. We all experience different emotions. It is important to remain sensitive about these emotions and understand how we all respond differently. We must not make assumptions about the way someone else grieves and how it may not be healthy. As a friend or family member, our role is to find the balance between being there for them and giving them their space.
Please enjoy your holiday season, but remember that it is acceptable to grieve over the loss of loved ones regardless of how long they have been gone. However you choose to accept the death of a loved one is appropriate, just remember to be thankful for the time you were given and the people you still have in your life.

http://hpr1.com/wellness/article/its_ok_to_grieve/

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

See ya, 2016.

-
I should have just gone to bed the night before I flew back to Minnesota for Christmas Vacation. Instead, I read through my journal for 2016 and then I spent the whole night digesting every thought I had over the course of the year and got ZERO sleep. Sometimes it feels silly to have a journal. It feels like I'm reverting back to the 6th grade girl who writes about the boy she likes and the fight she had with her dad. But mostly, it's a great way to remind myself of my experiences and my feeling about those experiences. My journal is filled with memories, ideas, quotes from books, tidbits from conversations with the people I love the most, lists, and life plans. Much like running, writing things down helps me try to understand life. (Way cliche, but way true.) As I reflected on this year, I relived my feelings. My heart hurt thinking about my most recent heartbreak, but it also swelled with joy as I read the list of people who helped me through it. I remembered the incred...
Read more

Thoughts on Expectations

-
The world would be such a different place if there were no expectations. There would be so much less disappointment. When you think about it, most disappointment stems from some sort of expectation. We wouldn’t fail because we couldn’t expect something to be better than reality. I know that this is fairly negative thinking and there is a completely different side to the idea of expectations but I challenge you to look at things in a different light. Imagine life as a child who knows nothing, expects nothing of the world. They live their lives in constant wonder. Life is a one big surprise to them. How cool is that? If we expect nothing from a day, then waking up is a miracle in itself. If you don’t expect anything, then every moment is a wonderful surprise and we can’t help but to be filled with joy. “Instead of filling with expectations, the joy-filled expect nothing and are filled.” If we learn to control how much we expect from the world, then every good thi...
Read more

Adventure Time

-
As I sit in the airport, by myself, after a few weeks of relaxing at home, I’m pretty excited to take off on my next adventure-- excited and also incredibly terrified. On one hand, this is a great opportunity and I’m sure it is an experience I will cherish forever. I get to take a break from the norm. I get to spend a significant amount of time across the country surrounded by people who are presumably fun and outgoing (I’m making this assumption based on the fact that we all want to spend our entire summer hanging out with kids). I get to try new things. I get to eat fresh lobster. I get to try logrolling. I get to hang out with kids and play volleyball on the beach of a gorgeous lake. Not only is Maine supposedly breathtakingly beautiful, but it’s different from everything I know. It’s outside of my comfort zone.   On the other hand, leaving your comfort zone is a terrifying thought. I’m leaving everything I have ever known. Although it is only for two months, this is tw...
Read more