Learning to Live

I was recently reading John Green's latest book Turtles All the Way Down (check out my review on Goodreads !) when I was struck by something the main character's mother said to her.   You see, Aza, the main character, struggles with OCD and it pushes her into what she calls "thought spirals." She was experiencing a rather intense though spiral when her mother reminded her that her now was not her forever. That did little to soothe Aza and I don't blame her, but probably not for the same reason.   Those 6 words can be interpreted in a few different ways. Aza's mom was using them to remind her that things would eventually get better and although it can be a comforting thought, I find things a bit scarier.   Those 6 words sum up how I feel about my anxiety.   Your now is not your forever.   Although it is meant to be optimistic and serve as a reminder that the future will be better, it tells me that the good times also don't last. So even...

Every now and then I think I should delete my blog because I don't think anyone really cares about what I have to say. But then I remember that it's not necessarily about other people. Writing is one of the best ways for me to flush out my thoughts and feelings and believe it or not, I have a lot of feelings. So here is another post dedicated to my feelings about this crazy beautiful life. Like most people I tend to go through phases of being obsessed with things. Sometimes it's an author, sometimes it's exercise, sometimes it's food. But right now it's literally anything that Nora McInery has done. Nora McInery is the Minneapolis author of  It's Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too). My best friend gave the book to me for my birthday likely because the title is basically the story of my life. Although I would recommend Nora's book without hesitation, I think I would recommend her podcast even more. "Terrible, Thanks for Asking" is basically...

I've never really been able to explain why I wanted to leave Minnesota and go abroad. Part of me thinks it was really just a middle finger to everyone who said I would never leave, but another part of me thinks it was because I knew I needed an adventure before I settled back down in Minnesota for the rest of eternity. Whatever the reason is that I decided to do this, I had no idea that it would change me as much as it has. Again, I find myself struggling to put my feelings into words, but I am obviously coming out of this experience a much different person than I came into it. I guess one could say that I had "miles to go" before I became the person I really wanted and needed to be.* Even though I feel like I can't summarize exactly how I have changed, I have a few ideas... 1. I'm so much more comfortable being alone. I was nervous to live alone, mostly because I am terrified of getting kidnapped, but my hobbies that were meant for one person got a...

I should have just gone to bed the night before I flew back to Minnesota for Christmas Vacation. Instead, I read through my journal for 2016 and then I spent the whole night digesting every thought I had over the course of the year and got ZERO sleep. Sometimes it feels silly to have a journal. It feels like I'm reverting back to the 6th grade girl who writes about the boy she likes and the fight she had with her dad. But mostly, it's a great way to remind myself of my experiences and my feeling about those experiences. My journal is filled with memories, ideas, quotes from books, tidbits from conversations with the people I love the most, lists, and life plans. Much like running, writing things down helps me try to understand life. (Way cliche, but way true.) As I reflected on this year, I relived my feelings. My heart hurt thinking about my most recent heartbreak, but it also swelled with joy as I read the list of people who helped me through it. I remembered the incred...